Throughout the healing process of getting on top of depression, I’ve learnt to step back and observe myself in detail as my life unfolds. I’ve learnt to analyse my past and accept that I played a role in creating and prolonging my own suffering. My pre-diagnosis years have been a painful journey, and I’ve been slow to learn.
But all pain and suffering has a purpose; that is, if one is wise enough and brave enough to look deep inside oneself to delve beneath the grief, anger or hurt to recognise life’s lessons.
There is no point in suffering in vain. From our loss and misfortune, accident and illness, tragedy and trauma, we can learn and grow, ultimately enriching our life, and in turn, enriching life for others as our lessons instil wisdom. Our resulting words and actions reach far beyond our range of vision, touching not only loved ones, but strangers around the globe.
At last, I have gained the wisdom necessary to realise that my years of pain have not been a waste of time. I was there for a purpose: to learn who I am, and why I exist. To learn lessons. It’s all very well, however, to learn well from life’s misery and torment, but changing one’s behaviour in order to implement a more meaningful way of life can be a stumbling block that causes more pain and suffering.
Old habits die hard. We cling to the familiarity of habitual behaviour, regardless of the pain it inflicts on ourselves and others. We unwittingly remain a victim because there is a certain amount of comfort in knowing exactly where we are, regardless of the continued pain we bring to ourselves. Attitudes can be so deeply ingrained that we fail to recognise our own damaging behaviour.
With the inner growth and awareness that has come about as I’ve learned some valuable lessons, I have acknowledged some aspects of my self-destructive behaviour. Consequently, I have devised changes; new paths, different directions, character-building projects, responsible attitudes. I’m seeking answers, and adapting strategies. And I’m trying to surround myself with compassionate and passionate people with whom I can relate. I’m embracing change and embarking on a truly engrossing stage of my life.
Wisdom also means accepting what we can not change. Here, I struggle.
A sense of urgency tugs at me as I grasp the true wonder of life beyond what was previously my comfort zone. I have so much to learn, experience and achieve. I have so much to give. Age marches on. I grapple with the needs and attitudes of another, and I don’t yet have the wisdom to accept that I don’t have the power to change others, or the right to expect change from others. I’m working on this area of my downfalls. I’m also working on building the courage to get what I need from life.
River Red Gums survive the struggle of drought, and then suffer flood - but it is not until they suffer flood that they can flourish and send forth new life. Likewise, humans will not perform their best until they have suffered, and learned from their pain, both individually and collectively.
But all pain and suffering has a purpose; that is, if one is wise enough and brave enough to look deep inside oneself to delve beneath the grief, anger or hurt to recognise life’s lessons.
***** ***** *****
There is no point in suffering in vain. From our loss and misfortune, accident and illness, tragedy and trauma, we can learn and grow, ultimately enriching our life, and in turn, enriching life for others as our lessons instil wisdom. Our resulting words and actions reach far beyond our range of vision, touching not only loved ones, but strangers around the globe.
***** ***** *****
At last, I have gained the wisdom necessary to realise that my years of pain have not been a waste of time. I was there for a purpose: to learn who I am, and why I exist. To learn lessons. It’s all very well, however, to learn well from life’s misery and torment, but changing one’s behaviour in order to implement a more meaningful way of life can be a stumbling block that causes more pain and suffering.
Old habits die hard. We cling to the familiarity of habitual behaviour, regardless of the pain it inflicts on ourselves and others. We unwittingly remain a victim because there is a certain amount of comfort in knowing exactly where we are, regardless of the continued pain we bring to ourselves. Attitudes can be so deeply ingrained that we fail to recognise our own damaging behaviour.
With the inner growth and awareness that has come about as I’ve learned some valuable lessons, I have acknowledged some aspects of my self-destructive behaviour. Consequently, I have devised changes; new paths, different directions, character-building projects, responsible attitudes. I’m seeking answers, and adapting strategies. And I’m trying to surround myself with compassionate and passionate people with whom I can relate. I’m embracing change and embarking on a truly engrossing stage of my life.
***** ***** *****
Wisdom also means accepting what we can not change. Here, I struggle.
A sense of urgency tugs at me as I grasp the true wonder of life beyond what was previously my comfort zone. I have so much to learn, experience and achieve. I have so much to give. Age marches on. I grapple with the needs and attitudes of another, and I don’t yet have the wisdom to accept that I don’t have the power to change others, or the right to expect change from others. I’m working on this area of my downfalls. I’m also working on building the courage to get what I need from life.
***** ***** *****
River Red Gums survive the struggle of drought, and then suffer flood - but it is not until they suffer flood that they can flourish and send forth new life. Likewise, humans will not perform their best until they have suffered, and learned from their pain, both individually and collectively.
6 comments:
Hi Gaye
Beautiful true and wise words. Thankyou for sharing.
I strongly believe that in life to get renewal we often need destruction. For example, similar to your flood analogy - many native species need fire to germinate. A fire causes destruction - but is followed by beautiful new vigorous growth that would not have occured without the fire.
For me, accepting that all pain and suffering has a purpose, makes enduring and surviving the pain so much easier.
Hello Tricia,
thank you for your very apt response.
Pain and suffering is always a struggle, and often one feels like one is being unfairly punished. I've been there. And I have also been at a place where I have not had the inner strength or character to search for meaning, or to consider there are lessons to be learned.
I am now at a more realistic place. It doesn't make the hurt any less potent or real, but with time, wisdom surfaces and I am able to deal with emotional pain in a more productive manner.
Regards,
Gaye
Hi Gaye,
Great post! You've put it so well. It's hard to accept the suffering when it happens but afterwards it is possible to look back and see the growth and learning that's resulted. That's where the choice comes in -- to take something positive from the experience.
Like you I still struggle with the things I can't change, but I guess that's part of the journey too.
Cheers
Catherine
Cheers
Catherine
Hello Catherine,
yes, it is really a struggle for me to accept that I can't change the attitudes and lack of insight of others, especially those I love. But unless others want to change, and for the right reasons, then it's a battle lost before it's commenced.
Trouble is, it is what I find as unacceptable attitudes (close to me) that make such a negative impact upon me, and therefore, drastically affects how I lead my life and what I get out of life. The frustration and disappointment is a major issue for me. And still, I don't know how to best handle it.
Thank you kindly for your response.
Regards,
Gaye
I know something of your life struggles, and want to say: "Courage, Sister!", because I feel a certain closeness because of the way you open up.
And remember that struggle and suffering is almost to no avail unless you have the magical facility of self-reflection - the ability to stand outside yourself and be objective.
That gift does not come easy, but in my humble opinion you do have it, and share some of it in here, your personal log of growth.
Thank you Bill. Yes, over the course of my journey and my healing, I have indeed developed the ability to observe myself. This is a very useful tool in self-help.
Kind regards,
Gaye
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